


I can't accept (that i don't have you)

by aribdz



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25778977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aribdz/pseuds/aribdz
Summary: Chaeryeong has never quite understood werewolves. How do they live? What is special about them? Why has she been barred from knowing about them? She has lived her whole life without knowing about werewolves, without knowing about herself. But, one letter was enough to turn her whole world around, to change the way she has viewed herself and the people that surround her.(Also, soulmates apparently exist, and she has one?)
Relationships: Hwang Yeji/Lee Chaeryeong
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the start of this multichapter one

Chaeryeong would like to believe in fate.

After all, it made her feel like she had a purpose. Just like now, she was on a bus to meet her biological family for the first time in… well, forever.

For some reason or the other, her family had considered best to have her raised by humans (her mother told her of the dangers of having her live with them), and would only communicate using letters.

Even then, she knew few things of them or the situation in which they lived, so, more often than not, as she grew up, she would feel like an outsider, both with humans and with other werewolves. Still, she tried to live her life to the fullest, trying to understand her biological family’s reasons.

She was now in her second year studying dance as a major, and, to be honest, she had reached a huge wall that she couldn’t cross over. Her professors often would tell her that she was holding back, that there was something she didn’t want to express through dance, which made her hard effort come to naught.

Then, the letter came.

She usually received letters from either her mother or her older sister, but she had never received one from her father.

Her father asked, in no uncertain terms, for her to return to her “real” family to visit, as he was quite ill. While she felt a bit insulted in behalf of her foster family, she decided to go, thinking that maybe this was fate. She was meant to know more about her family to close a chapter in her life, go back to college, and be able to accomplish her dream of opening a dance studio.

The pieces of the puzzle would fall into place, she was sure of it.

–

When she first had gotten out of the bus, the difference of it all had smacked her in the face, particularly in the nostrils. Since she had lived her whole life with humans, she hadn’t really thought there would be any difference in meeting her biological family and going to where they lived. Now that she was on the ground, she was hit with very strong odors that made her eyes water.

She coughed strongly, trying to get that scratchy feeling out of her throat. Very few times had she actually smelled odors that strong (usually they came from one person or two), but here, it seemed that everywhere she looked, everyone had that distinctive aroma.

Not wanting to block her nose, so as to not appear rude, she lowered her head and waited for her luggage to pass through the conveyor belt. She looked at the corner of her eyes, wanting to see if anyone else felt the same as she did, but everyone seemed calm, normally going on about their day, which meant that she was the one who was overly sensitive.

Waiting felt like an eternity, but when it ended, she mentally cheered, walking towards the section where one could order a cab.

The man who was behind the counter looked at her sharply, as if he was wary of her presence. Were employees supposed to be like that? Chaeryeong didn’t think so.

“Good afternoon,” Chaeryeong greeted with a polite smile. “I’d like a cab.”

“Address?” His voice sounded on edge, making Chaeryeong feel more nervous.

“Ah, oh, let me give it to you.” Chaeryeong looked in her pockets for the address her mother had sent her in a subsequent letter. “Here.”

The man’s eyebrows rose almost comically, and he turned to look at Chaeryeong. “You sure about the address?”

“Yes?” she answered hesitantly. Why was he so surprised?

“Okay,” he said, but his tone suggested something that irked Chaeryeong.

“W-what is wrong with the address?” she asked. Maybe her mother had gotten a number wrong or something.

He seemed to be debating in his own mind, but he finally turned to look at Chaeryeong, inclining his body forward. He opened his mouth, but then decided against it. Instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something in it. Then, he showed it to Chaeryeong.

The compound there is off limits. Anyone unauthorized would most likely be torn apart by the weres protecting the area.

Compound? Like a camp? “Is that not a residential area?” Chaeryeong asked nervously. The man snorted, looking at her as if he finally understood something.

“There are no residential areas here. Everyone lives in compounds.” He gave her a sympathetic look before writing something on his computer. “The cab will arrive in a few at the north gate.” He pointed at the gate.

“T-thank you,” Chaeryeong said, but now she felt dizzy at the possibilities. What did this mean? Would she actually get mauled? Had her father sent for her just to get mauled?

“You should control your scent, too,” the man added before Chaeryeong could get away. “It might get you in trouble if you don’t.”

“My… scent?” she said as she bowed at the man before walking to the gate. Did she smell like the people here? Nobody had ever told her something like that, and she’d like to believe her friends would’ve been honest enough to tell her that she stunk.

She tried shrugging it off, thinking that, maybe, she needed to take a long shower. And perhaps she would do that as soon as the day ended.

The arrival of the cab made her sigh in relief. She took her luggage and walked towards the driver, who had already gotten out of the car to help her. He scrunched her nose when she got close.

“I’m not letting you get inside the cab like this,” he asserted aggressively, making Chaeryeong jump slightly.

“Like what?” she asked, frantically searching everywhere to see if she was dirty or something.

“You stink.”

“I-I do?” Chaeryeong stuttered. “I’m sorry. I-I’m sure there is some perfume in here.” She moved to open her luggage.

“Perfume isn’t going to do anything.” He shook his head. “Alphas, I swear,” he grumbled under his breath, then turned to look at Chaeryeong. “Turn it off.”

“Turn what off?”

“Your scent.”

“I don’t understand,” Chaeryeong confessed hurriedly. The man at the desk had told her the same thing. What did they mean? Can someone magically de-stink oneself?

“Turn your scent off. How difficult is that?” The driver’s behavior was getting more impatient.

“I don’t know how to do it. I don’t even know what is the scent you’re talking about.” He scanned her face in search of a lie, but seeing that Chaeryeong looked flustered, almost shameful of what was going, he sighed.

“It’s not that difficult. Just, concentrate on yourself and breathe deeply. The scent should dissipate at least a little,” he grumbled, tapping his foot.

Chaeryeong tried doing what he told her. After a moment, she turned to look at him inquisitively.

“Did it work?”

“A little,” he admitted. “Get on. The more we stay here, the more money I lose.” He grabbed onto Chaeryeong’s luggage and put in inside the trunk. Chaeryeong walked towards the passenger side and got into the cab.

He opened the windows of the car as soon as he turned it on. “What is the address?” Chaeryeong handed him the paper with the address. It took him a moment to read, but he laughed disbelievingly when he read it.

“The Lee’s compound? Really?” he turned to look at her and laughed again, this time more nervously. “Do you really want to die?”

“What? Why die?” Chaeryeong was starting to think that maybe her father had played her.

“As it is, nobody is meant to enter the premises, but you? You’re a female alpha. They’ll eat you alive before you can even cross the passage.”

“What is a female alpha?” she asked, panicked and curious about the way she was described? Did alpha mean she was a werewolf?

He looked at her as if she had grown two heads. “You don’t know what is an alpha?” He laughed again disbelievingly. “No, no, no. This has to be a joke. A really bad joke.”

“Please, tell me,” Chaeryeong pleaded, more confused by the minute. “What is an alpha?” After he stopped laughing, he started driving.

“I’ll let the people there explain,” he answered more soberly, all traces of laughter gone. “Or else I’ll have to charge extra.” Chaeryeong didn’t answer.

While she was curious (and quite panicked at what this meant for her), she wanted to trust that her mother had a reason to not explain these things to her, and that, maybe, when she arrived, she would explain it better than this person could.

The rest of the ride was quiet, with no one making a single comment about anything.

“Here we are,” the driver said as he slowed down. “Get your luggage from the trunk.” Chaeryeong didn’t ask him for help. As it was, he seemed pretty nervous about being in that place, she didn’t want him to lash out at her.

He drove off as soon as she had closed the trunk of the car, leaving her feeling stranded. It was a steel gate with huge walls surrounding it, making her feel tiny as a result. She hesitated for a moment, afraid of what actually would happen if what those people said was true.

“Everything is going to be okay,” she whispered encouragingly. “I’m going to meet mother and father, and I’m going to know more about being a werewolf, and I’ll get myself out of this creative funk.” She walked towards the door, looking around for anything, a bell to ring or something of the sort. There was nothing, so she slowly opened the gate, hoping nothing bad would happen.

Nothing.

She breathed a sigh of relief, crossing through the door. There wasn’t any building in sight, so Chaeryeong guessed that the buildings were further away, and she’d have to walk to them in a moment. The nature there was beautiful, as if it was usually not tampered with. The trees grew tall and strong, and the plants, more often than not, were in Chaeryeong’s way.

What distracted her the most was a pink rose next to a tree. It made for a strange view, so Chaeryeong got closer to see it. Touching it slightly, she marveled for a moment before resuming her walk. Although she’d liked to see the rose more, it would be shame to cut it.

As she got further into the dirt walkway, she started feeling the presence of someone, as if she was being observed. It creeped her out, but she didn’t know what to do. She could confront whoever was watching her, but she didn’t know if that person was nice or not.

No, it was better to walk quietly, hoping that the person was kind.

It wasn’t but a rush of air she felt on her face that right after she saw a figure jumping towards her. Her reflexes weren’t as fast to avoid the person, so she ended up on her back.

It wasn’t a person. It was a wolf. Growling menacingly at her.

Strangely enough, she could understand his growls as if she could speech.

“What are you doing here?” the wolf asked, baring his teeth at her.

“I-I was called… My parents-”

The wolf roared, making Chaeryeong cower. “Nobody is allowed here, much less an abomination!”

“S-sorry, I didn’t know,” Chaeryeong stuttered, just wanting to save herself from the beast. Suddenly, there was an even bigger growl that commanded obedience. Curiously enough, although it made Chaeryeong cower as well, she didn’t feel the compelling feeling she felt she should feel.

It was another wolf, his back auburn, which walked slowly and regally.

“Why are you attacking your Gamma?” the auburn wolf asked slowly.

“My… my Gamma?” the wolf on top of her huffed, confused.

“She’s the Gamma’s heir.”

“She?” the wolf huffed again. “But she’s...”

“Get off her,” the auburn wolf ordered, making the wolf on top of her immediately obey. The auburn wolf transformed into a man, which seemed to be Dad’s age. “Sorry for that. We’ve been instructed to protect the premises, and your scent was quite strong.” The man extended his hand at Chaeryeong, who took it, regardless of her own fears and reservations, standing up with the man’s help.

“My scent?” Chaeryeong asked again. “Is it really that strong?”

The man quirked his lips slightly. “It is. Can you turn it off now?”

“I don’t know how,” Chaeryeong bowed her head, ashamed of having to do this all over again. The man’s eyes showed a sliver of surprise, which disappeared as soon as it came. Then, his expression was complacent again.

“Let me teach you before we reach Gamma Lee’s house.” It took a while, but when it was finally done, Chaeryeong sighed in relief. They went on their way, the man guiding Chaeryeong.

“My name is Hoseok,” the man said pleasantly. “And I’m your father’s right hand. He told me about your arrival only a few days ago.”

“I’m Chaeryeong. Nice to meet you,” Chaeryeong greeted back.

“I know,” he asserted. “What I don’t know is… Did you ever keep in contact with your father before this?”

“Uh, no, not really,” Chaeryeong answered.

“Then how did you come to know about your family?”

“My mom.” It didn’t hurt to tell him, right? “She always sent me letters.” He nodded.

“And what do you know about your family?”

“I have my parents, my sister, Chaeyeon, and my brother, Jaemin.”

“And?” he urged, his tone more impatient.

“My mom loves cooking,” Chaeryeong blurted out, not really knowing what did he want to hear. He looked at her for a moment before roaring in laughter.

“She does,” he said when the laughter died out. “Was there anything else she has told you? About the pack maybe?”

“Not really,” Chaeryeong shrugged as nonchalantly as she could, already feeling like there were many things that she didn’t know, and she didn’t want to betray that ignorance. It would make her feel more ashamed.

The man hummed, though his face contorted into dissatisfaction for a moment. The rest of the walk was in silence.

Finally, Chaeryeong was able to see different buildings, which, most likely, served as housing for the people here. The man didn’t care enough to introduce her to the buildings, mostly because he seemed to be deeply in thought. Still, she would’ve liked an explanation, now that there were many people surrounding both of them, looking at her in a mixture of suspicion, dislike, and curiosity. Maybe a few words of comfort would’ve done her good.

It was in the biggest building that she was able to enter that she felt the aura change. Although the scents in this compound were also very intrusive (Chaeryeong still couldn’t get used to it), the scent inside this building was almost overpowering, as if it beckoned her to give her own power up (power? what power?). Chaeryeong almost immediately started coughing, unable to find fresh air.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok asked.

“Just a moment,” Chaeryeong said between coughs. It took her a moment to get used to the scent (at least, enough to not choke on it as before), and she bowed to the man in apology. “I’m okay now. Sorry.”

“Alright.” The man eyed her for a moment before continuing to walk.

“Your mother is in here,” he said as he stopped in front of a door. “Once your talk is done, she’ll take you to Gamma Lee.”

“T-thank you,” Chaeryeong stuttered, the anxiety now coming full force. This was the first time she could talk face to face with her mother, see her, ask her the many questions that had gone unanswered in the many years she had to grow accustomed to what she was. “Here I go,” she whispered encouragingly, and opened the door.

Her mother was someone familiar, as if she could see her in the mirror every day she woke up, her features a bit aged, but with regal posture and long, raven black hair. Her face at first contorted in nervousness, now was lit up with delight.

“Chaeryeong!” she exclaimed as she walked to her daughter. Chaeryeong, unable to say anything due to emotion, hugged her mother tightly. Tears welled up in her eyes, surprising her with the intensity of her emotions.

“My daughter, let me see you for a moment.” They separated, and her mother cradled Chaeryeong’s face in her hands, tentatively touching her cheeks. “You don’t know how much I’ve dreamed to see you, my dear daughter.”

Chaeryeong swallowed the bitterness that came with that statement, managing a shaky smile. “I… I also wanted to see you.” Her mother laughed a watery smile.

“Ah, you’ve probably had a long trip. Sit, sit.” They both sat in a large, elegant sofa that was in the middle of the room. “It was quite long since you’ve written me a letter. What happened to you in these months?”

Chaeryeong turned her head in anxiety, now that she truly had to talk to her mother. It gave her the opportunity to eye the room they were in. It seemed to be some type of small office, with some bookcases filled to the brim, a mahogany desk with some papers on top of it, and some tastefully sparse decoration.

“N-nothing out of the ordinary. I left for the beach with Hyunjin and her family.” My family. “And well, I came back to prepare to come here.”

“I thought you wanted to get a job?” her mother asked, her hands now grabbing onto Chaeryeong’s.

“I did, but I decided not to. I really doubted they would give me free time to visit you.” Her mother’s expression fell for a moment, but she managed to smile again.

“Was the trip difficult?”

“Not at all,” she started eagerly, her voice becoming more subdued at her next choice of words. “Just… People kept saying things about my ‘scent’?” Chaeryeong lowered her head awkwardly.

“What did they say about it?” Her mother’s intensity surprised Chaeryeong.

“No, just, that I had to turn it off… What did they mean?” Her mother smiled sadly.

“I’ll tell you everything you need to know later. I first want you to go see your father, and listen to everything he has to say.”

“M-my father?” Chaeryeong asked. It was the first time ever that she was going to speak to her father, and she wasn’t sure what to make of him. He had never been included much in her mother’s and Chaeyeon’s letters, so she had no idea of who he was, or what his personality was like.

Her mother nodded. “As much as I’d like to hoard you for the rest of the day, I think your father might get impatient if I don’t take you there.” She helped Chaeryeong stand up. “Don’t worry about your luggage. I’ll tell Hoseok to take it to your room later.”

Chaeryeong was taken by her mother through the maze that was their house (?), until they stopped in front of large wooden doors. Fortunately, Chaeryeong’s nerves were kept from being fried as her mother spoke to her until they came to their stop.

“Are you going with me?” Chaeryeong asked timidly, fearing this moment. The powerful smell was more overwhelming than ever, and she felt like she would pass out if she didn’t at least have the comfort of someone kind.

“You’ll have to go alone.” Her mother patted her back soothingly. Chaeryeong sighed, then turned the doorknob that lead to one of the most mysterious figures in her life.

“Close the door,” a deep voice resounded, making Chaeryeong hurry to enter the room. It was a bedroom, but, different from what she expected, her father was sitting on a desk chair, his hands holding a book, and his body clad in dark-colored sweats. What she could notice that would give a hint about his condition was the paleness on his face.

“Father,” she said, bowing deeply. He looked at her impassively, putting his book on the boudoir beside him.

“Daughter,” he said simply, not making any movement to receive her.

“Ah, mother told me you wanted to see me.” Chaeryeong mentally cheered for not stuttering this time.

“Did she?” he asked, making her feel more nervous.

“Yes.” she answered, rubbing her arm with her left hand. She felt her hands getting clammy the more her father looked at her, as if judging her silently.

“Tell me, in all the letters your mother sent you, has she ever explained to you what our family represents?”

“No, father.”

“Did she ever explain to you your place within this pack?”

I don’t even know what’s a pack, Chaeryeong wanted to answer, but instead, denied. “No, father.” His father stood up slowly, and it was then that her father’s height hit her like a bullet train. He was gigantic, for a lack of a better word.

Her father nodded at the chair he had sat on a moment ago. “Sit.” Chaeryeong would’ve denied politely in any other moment, but something about her father’s voice made her obey almost immediately.

“Our family represents power, dear Chaeryeong. Alongside many families living around the globe, we represent the power that werewolves have in society, more concretely, in this state.” He turned to look at her, making Chaeryeong divert her gaze elsewhere. “We represent the interests of werewolves in society, and the small things we can also give in return. We represent the pack.”

“As you must understand, every leader needs an heir, every Gamma needs a successor.” He walked slowly towards her. “And my successor was your brother, Jaemin.”

“But as you already know, your brother has passed away...” Wait, what?! “You look surprised.”

“Yes, I, uh.” Although she had never spoken to her younger brother, the news hit her like a bullet, straight to the heart. She blinked repeatedly, willing the tears away at the sudden news. “M-mother didn’t tell me.”

Her father clicked his tongue in distaste. “I had already assumed she had kept you up to date. But never mind that. Do you get where I’m going with this?”

“Y-you have no heir,” Chaeryeong answered, still trying to swallow the knot in her throat. How can I not mind my brother’s death?

“I have an heir,” he said, his voice gaining again that authoritative edge, making Chaeryeong sit straight.

“You mean…?” she trailed off tremulously.

“You are my heir. That is your place within this pack.” Chaeryeong’s breath hitched, her head now spinning endlessly at the implications of her father’s words. She wanted to raise her voice. She had just come, for the first time ever, to visit her family, and see them in the flesh. How could her father tell her something like this?

But her father was too intimidating in that moment that Chaeryeong felt she would be shred to pieces if she voiced her discontent about it. She nodded, hoping that talking to her mother would help her with this situation. His father smiled curtly, patting her shoulder slowly.

“You can’t leave now. You have to stay, for the good of the pack. Do you understand, Chaeryeong?” His booming voice contrasted with the pats she felt were meant to comfort her. But there was no comfort, only panic.

“Y-y-yes, father,” Chaeryeong squeaked, praying for her mother to come enter through those doors.

“Good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” And Chaeryeong, knowing it was her cue to leave, almost ran towards the door, rushing to the liberty that was the outside world. Only that when she came out of the room, she was confronted with the reality that, whoever her father was, he was someone powerful, someone that definitely had control over people here.

Her mother, probably seeing her panic, enveloped her in a hug that would have been more effective had she not been hit the bombs she was hit while on her father’s presence.

“Mother? What is going on?” she managed to ask. Her mother sighed in disappointment at her husband’s probable actions.

Did I not ask him to treat Chaeryeong kindly?, she thought as she smiled sadly at her youngest daughter.

“Let’s talk at the office, hmm?” she said, taking Chaeryeong’s hand and leading her to the office. Chaeryeong didn’t refute, hoping her mother would explain what was going on.

When they finally were inside that more familiar room, Chaeryeong asked again, this time a bit more calm. “What is going on? What are we?”

“Let’s sit down,” she said soothingly.

I thought this was a happy visit, Chaeryeong thought as she sat on the couch, but she didn’t externalize her thoughts, not wanting to upset her mother with her own panicked, confused thoughts.

“I’m sorry for what has happened,” she apologized. “I thought your father would explain better than I could what we are, dear, so I sent you there.” Her mother took a deep breath. “Do you fully understand what you are, Chaeryeong?”

“I am a werewolf?” she said, her voice devoid of assurance, having heard the term only once uttered by Mom and only read it through scary stories children tell at Halloween parties.

“You are.” Her mother smiled slightly. “And, as with any kind of wolves, we live in packs, together.”

Chaeryeong nodded, absorbing the information. Packs. The thing father spoke about.

“But, as we live in packs, we usually do not mingle with humans, unless necessary.”

Were the people at the bus terminal all werewolves?

“And, as with any pack, we need a leader. Your father is the leader of this pack.” Her mother took again her hands in hers. “In fact, our family has been, throughout centuries the leaders of this pack, the Moonblack pack.” Her mother sighed, her more dignified countenance disappearing, leaving in its place despair. “But your brother… he… he was meant to be your father’s successor, just as your father was your grandfather’s successor.”

“He is not here anymore. So your father had no successor.” Despite her many doubts, she couldn’t help but feel empathy towards her mother. She herself had never known her brother, yet, she felt pain in her heart at the idea of never being able to see him.

Squeezing her mother’s hand, Chaeryeong asked softly, “But why me, mother? You always said I needed to stay with the Kim’s because I wasn’t safe.” Her mother’s smile became softer, with a hint of disdain that Chaeryeong wasn’t sure who was directed at.

“You have always been a special daughter, Chaeryeong. You see, when you, and me, and your siblings are born, we are born as any of these three things, which determine our standing within the pack: alpha, beta, and omega. As my last daughter, I expected to see you be born as an omega, just like your sister. Instead, you were born an alpha.”

“Is that wrong?” Chaeryeong asked, although she feared the answer.

“It’s not,” her mother denied fiercely, grabbing her daughter’s hands with more strength. “It’s not.”

“Then?” Chaeryeong asked, partially feeling like running away, partially feeling like listening to the story that she was never privy to. She remembered the way that wolf had screamed at her. Abomination.

“But it is something that barely happens,” her mother conceded. “You have to understand, Chaeryeong, that most wolves have never seen a female alpha in their lives. It is strange, and people fear strange.”

“But why me, mother? If that is true, why did father say that I have to succeed him? I don’t even...” she trailed off, stopping the feelings that were threatening to topple at this information. Was she unwanted? Was she truly an abomination?

“Because there is no one else.” Her mother’s smile was sad again.

“And Chaeyeon?” she asked tiredly.

“Chaeyeon is an omega. And omegas cannot succeed.” Chaeryeong hung her head, unable to ask the questions she really wanted to ask, afraid of truly misunderstanding her mother, but, at the same time, afraid of what this meant for her.

“I know you have your dreams and passions outside of this compound,” her mother said sadly. “I promise to you that this won’t be forever, just until I can convince your father to appoint someone else to be his successor. Please, my daughter,” she raised Chaeryeong’s head slightly. “Please, stay, and trust that I will get you out of here.”

“Can you tell father I can’t do it?”

“I can’t. Have you not felt it? The authority that surrounds your father? I cannot disobey him, as much as I want to.” Chaeryeong teared up, overwhelmed at the amount of information she had gotten in a single day. Her mother hugged her. “I never wanted you to be a part of this. I’m so sorry that I can’t do anything for you.”

Chaeryeong contained her tears, not wanting for her mother to see her crying. What have I gotten myself into? I never asked for this!

Nevertheless, she stayed like that, hugging her mother for what seemed hours.


	2. Chapter 2

After lying in her bed for a few hours, she had been called by one of her father’s workers (pack members?) to dinner, and, although she had contemplated to not go, so as to think more about what to do, she had stood up almost immediately. Despite everything, she still wanted to meet her whole family, and that included her older sister, to whom she had only spoken through letters.

When she arrived at the dinner table (taken there by one of her father’s workers), she could already see her mother sitting at the center, a few other wolves sitting at the sides, and an empty chair right next to a girl who also suspiciously looked a lot like her.

She walked shyly towards the empty seat, but her sister seemed to finally notice her, as her face brightened and she intercepted her.

“Chaeryeong!” She was grabbed in an effusive hug, which she returned with intensity. While her sister had also hid the same things her mother had, she had spared no detail on telling her about her daily problems, relationships and happenings the way her mother hadn’t. It felt like meeting an old friend. “I’m so happy to see you!”

“Me too,” she mumbled.

“Come, let me introduce you to my friends!” Chaeyeon said as she grabbed her hand taking her to some of the younger weres she could see. “This is my sister, Chaeryeong!”

“No shit, Sherlock,” said one of them, receiving a hit on her arm on Chaeyeon’s behalf. “I mean, you both look so alike, I’d be an idiot if I didn’t make the connection.”

“You’re already an idiot, Yena,” pointed out another girl with shoulder-length, brunette hair.

“Shut up, Yujin!” the girl bellowed, baring her fangs. Yujin just blew a raspberry at Yena, then turned to look at Chaeryeong.

“Plus, Chaeyeon has been talking about your arrival the whole month.”

Chaeyeon scoffed. “Come one, guys. This is my sister! I have-”

“Never seen her before and only spoke to her through letters. I know. I know,” Yena said with an exaggerated tone of exasperation, then gave Chaeryeong a toothy smile. “Nice to meet you! I’m Yena!”

“I’m Yujin.”

“And I’m Yuri,” quietly muttered a third girl with long, black hair.

“Nice to meet you,” Chaeryeong greeted with a tentative smile, comforted by the more familiar atmosphere and treatment.

“Sit, sit. Chaeyeon, why do you keep your sister standing up?”

Chaeyeon rolled her eyes. “So you don’t want to talk to her?”

“Of course I do! Just… bah! I’m trying to be accommodating!” Yena pouted. “And you can’t even sit here.”

“Why not?” Chaeryeong asked her sister, hoping the question wasn’t one of those implicit things that everyone already knew. Chaeyeon smiled hesitantly.

“Mom didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Chaeryeong asked, already feeling her gut drop.

“Oh, well, dad was supposed to present you to all of the pack leaders that are staying here,” Chaeyeon explained quietly.

Chaeryeong’s opened her mouth in surprise. “M-mother didn’t tell me.”

“Maybe she forgot?” Chaeyeon said apologetically. “Hey,” she added softly when she saw Chaeryeong’s expression. “Don’t worry. I’ll be next to you. Mom, too.”

Chaeryeong nodded, clinging onto Chaeyeon’s reassurance like a lifeline. The moment she and her mother had had been emotional, to say the least. It wasn’t all that incredible to think that she forgot to tell her about it, right? Or is this not considered important?

“Did… did people come here just for this announcement?” Chaeryeong asked.

“Oh no,” Chaeyeon denied. “They have been here for a while. It’s this census the government is doing with other packs and stuff, so they have to stay elsewhere. Since our census has ended, they are staying with us.”

“Still, is this necessary?” Chaeryeong asked anxiously.

“It is. They need to know who is next in line so they can treat you accordingly.”

“But… aren’t I an abomination to them?” Chaeryeong asked quietly, making Chaeyeon almost crack her head with how quickly she turned her head.

“Who told you that?” Chaeyeon looked poised, but Chaeryeong could see her sister’s brow frown almost imperceptibly.

“Isn’t that the truth?” Chaeryeong insisted. Chaeyeon hesitated, biting her lip.

“They do think that,” she admitted quietly, taking her apart from the group of friends, who had already intuited that they were having a private conversation and were speaking among themselves. “But I don’t, mom or dad neither, nor anyone from our pack. I want you here. We want you here, Chaer.”

Chaeryeong gulped, swallowing the words lodged in her throat. It seemed now so opportunistic, how they had called for her, making her feel as if they truly wanted to meet her, only to have been thrown into this bait and switch. She wanted to lash out at her older sister, but she kept mum, feeling that it was not the time, nor the place. She would keep her own bitterness away, as long as that compliance got her out of there.

She was so deep into her thoughts that she missed her sister’s genuine smile that evolved into a sad one.

Suddenly, she could see more people entering, prompting Chaeyeon to take her to her seat. “They need to see us together, as a united front,” she explained as she showed Chaeryeong her seat. “Remember, I’m here.”

Chaeryeong nodded again. There was nothing she could do in this moment, anyway.

_'I mean, I could run away from here, leave my stuff here… but… I don’t want to cause trouble for mother.'_

There was a sudden scent that somehow didn’t blend into the myriad of scents that already existed in this building. It was sweet, like strawberries with cream, making Chaeryeong’s mouth water. She wanted to see if there was some food on the table, but her sister caught her attention again.

“Those are the Hwang’s, head of one of the most influential packs, and their companions. You’re going to deal with them the most,” Chaeyeon whispered. Chaeryeong gave what was meant to be a cursory glance at the people Chaeyeon was talking about, but there was someone who made it impossible to.

It was a girl. The girl.

The most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

Her breath hitched when the girl turned to look, as if she was also looking for her. Her gazes met, and the girl’s face contorted for a moment into shock, but was then schooled into complacence. The girl turned her head away from Chaeryeong, breaking the spell she had been sucked into.

_'I need to talk to her.'_

“Oh, and those are the Shin’s, and their companions. Pretty important, too, but not as much as the Hwang’s.” Although it was a challenge to stop looking at the girl, she was able to look at the members of the other family. Little by little, the seats were filled with people that Chaeyeon described to her. When everyone was already at the table, her father appeared, making her straighten up, their exchange fresh in her mind.

Her father, now not in slacks, walked to the center of the table slowly, as if he was making a grand entrance. When he was finally standing in front of his own seat, he spoke.

“Good evening. Due to the rarity of us eating dinner together, you might be wondering about the reason I have called you all here. The reason has to do with my succession, were I to pass away in the nearby future. As you all know, my son, Jaemin, had a very regrettable end, but my blood line doesn’t end with him. The reality is, I have chosen my daughter, who has come back after a long time, to succeed me.” The older people turned to look at the side, where both Chaeyeon and Chaeryeong were standing up. Chaeyeon squeezed her hand in solidarity when muted voices resounded through the hall, gossiping about the happening.

“You never told us you had another daughter,” one of them said, his voice booming and filled with wariness.

“I hid her existence to protect her, but she is my daughter,” her father reassured.

“A female alpha?” another said. “How are you letting an abomination rule after you?! She should have been killed when she was born.” Chaeryeong lowered her head, squeezing Chaeyeon’s hand in both anger and sadness at the statement.

“Are you going to tell me what do to with what is mine?” her father asked in challenge. The man glared at her father, eyes also open in challenge, but he said nothing, letting her father continue. “Make no mistake. She is my heir, and whoever tries to discredit her will have to defeat her.”

Defeat-? What?

“I, for one, think it is a good idea to establish an heir soon, lest we have people thinking that there will be uncertainty in the wake of your death,” one man gave his opinion. Chaeryeong smiled slightly at the support, but that smile disappeared when she saw her father huff in thinly veiled irritation. He nodded, regardless.

“I don’t agree with the sentiment,” another man said. “We all now how female alpha are seen by the moon goddess. It’s defiance to let her live, more so to make her a Gamma of a pack!” There were more murmurs among the people reunited there, making Chaeryeong feel hurt. Regardless of wanting to stay here and become the leader (Gamma, it seems it was called?), having so many people debate whether you should’ve died was horrible.

“Would you be the one to enact what you think is the goddess’s will?” her father asked, raising a brow. The change in tone made the atmosphere tense. Both men glared at each other for a moment.

“I won’t. My son will,” the man voiced, and the young man next to him puffed his chest.

“Very well,” her father said. “We’ll do it, tomorrow.”

“Are you afraid your daughter will die?” the man asked sardonically.

“We are guests in their home!” a voice boomed above all the others, making both men, amazingly, bow their heads in submission. Everyone followed through. Chaeryeong was able to see through the corner of her eye an elder man, who, despite needing a walking cane, had caught the attention and obedience of everyone at the hall. “Gamma Lee is extending the courtesy of letting us stay in his home. If he wants the duel to be tomorrow, it will be tomorrow.” The man who had been arguing heatedly only huffed in compliance. Her father nodded, turning to slightly look at Chaeryeong, who tried looking as unaffected by it as she could. She wasn’t sure if it was credible.

A duel? A duel to death? They wanted to kill her?

The rest of the meal was spent in silence, with Chaeryeong trying her best not to cry in desperation and fear. Not even Chaeyeon’s attempts at starting a conversation helped at all.

When dinner ended, Chaeryeong just walked in silence to her room, avoiding any person that could get in her way. She was dead set. She needed to run away, even if it meant losing her biological family.

There was nothing she could do in her room, other than sit on one of the chairs and wait for midnight to arrive. She knew she couldn’t run away when people were still awake.

Still, she didn’t expect small knocks on her door. Chaeryeong would’ve rather said nothing, making the person behind the door believe she was asleep, but it could be her sister or her mother, and she wasn’t sure if she would see them again after this.

Chaeyeon hugged her as soon as she opened the door, making her huff in surprise.

“I’m so sorry,” her sister said, making Chaeryeong’s eyes water. Still, she refused to cry in front of her older sister, so she tried getting out of the hug, knowing if she stayed more time in her embrace, she would start sobbing.

Chaeryeong wanted to reassured her older sister, but a resentful “Did you know about it?” came out instead.

Chaeyeon denied. “Chaer, since the first time mom told me about your whereabouts, I could never stop wishing that you were here, with us. I never understood why dad decided to keep you away from us,” she said bitterly. “But I’ve always missed you. None of us wanted you to be involved in any of this.”

“Then why is father doing this?” Chaeryeong asked, her voice with unfiltered sadness. “If you have always wanted me here, why have you called me to do this?”

“It’s what dad wanted,” Chaeyeon said quietly. “Mom and I opposed to the plan. Mom suggested that he should take someone else as a successor, but he didn’t hear us.”

“Would you even have invited me here if dad didn’t need a successor?”

“I would have wanted to. Mom, too.” There was a small pause. “Dad wanted to keep you safe.”

“I don’t want this,” Chaeryeong said, hugging herself. “I don’t want to fight that man. I don’t want to die.” Chaeyeon’s eyes filled with tears at her sister’s petition, but she sighed, filled with resolution.

“Do you want to leave?” The question surprised Chaeryeong, who nodded. “Then I’ll help you leave.”

“But what will happen to you?” Chaeyeon smiled sadly.

“Don’t worry about me.” The answer just filled Chaeryeong’s heart with yearning, a deep longing to keep her sister, who was willing to help her, regardless of what would happen to her (which, in a world that permits duels to death, it gave the hint of a sinister punishment), safe.

She was conflicted.

Biting her lip, Chaeryeong asked, “Is there a possibility to beat him without killing him?”

Chaeyeon’s eyes widened at the question. “W-well, yes. He’d have to surrender to you.”

“Would he do it?”

“Seokmin’s a very prideful wolf, but there must be a way.” Chaeyeon raised Chaeryeong’s head slightly. “What are you thinking?”

“Is there…” Chaeryeong wet her lips. “Is there a possibility that I could defeat him?”

“Do you really want to do this?” Chaeyeon asked seriously.

Chaeryeong had never been too much in agreement with the saying ‘Blood is Thicker than Water’.

“Yes.”

Which is why she wanted to do this. Her father, who had only looked at her like a distant other, had no bearing in her mind. The rules of the werewolves for succession bore no importance to her at all. The long, enthusiastic letters where her sister exposed her bare feelings about her life, her mother’s sheer joy at seeing her for the first time, the warm hug that enveloped her when she met her sister, the sorrow with which her mother and sister apologized for putting her in harm’s way was what mattered to her.

She didn’t want them to be punished, nor to suffer over something they had no control over (even when she couldn’t completely understand what tied them to this place).

If her mother told her she was going to get her out of this, then Chaeryeong would trust her.

Chaeyeon looked at her for a moment, then hugged her again. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” she said, the mask of calm falling from her face. The mask was put on again before Chaeryeong could think about comforting her sister.

“Do you know how to fight?” Chaeyeon grimaced at the clueless look Chaeryeong sported. “How many times have you shifted—changed into your werewolf—in the past six years?”

“Just once,” Chaeryeong said uncertainly, still remembering vividly the day of her first transformation. The blurry sight, the sound of her cracking bones and the cries of her family would never be forgotten. She shivered at the reminder.

“Have you never felt the urge to shift?” Chaeyeon asked in disbelief.

“Sometimes,” Chaeryeong scratched her leg. That was the reason she got into dance, the need to burn that longing away. “But I didn’t want anybody to see me like that.”

“You are a werewolf, and that is no shame,” Chaeyeon said, poking Chaeryeong’s arm. “I know, I know, you needed to be under the radar… but, not even once?” Chaeryeong shook her head. “Wow.” Chaeyeon separated herself from her younger sister. “Well, I might not be able to help you fight (infactIthinkdadwilldothat), but I might be able to help you shift.”

“Do I need help with that?” Chaeryeong asked skeptically.

“Of course! To be able to have a better synergy with your wolf, you need to shift constantly!”

“You are talking as if my wolf was a different being.”

“It kind of is,” Chaeyeon admitted. “Obviously, it is a part of you, but—how do I explain this?—she kind of has a will of its own. She’s your instinct, if you will. An inner voice.”

“Okay.” Chaeryeong was skeptical.

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy,” Chaeyeon whined, hitting her slightly. “It’s true! Ask mom, or Yena, or Yujin, or Yuri!”

“Okay, okay,” Chaeryeong appeased. “Inner voice, okay.”

“Without having a correct synergy with your wolf, it might be difficult to even think about fighting.” Chaeyeon took a few steps back. “Let’s go outside.”

“Now?”

“Don’t want anyone doubting your capabilities if they see you’re learning about shifting,” Chaeyeon answered, nodding her head.

Chaeryeong followed her sister outside, where they walked a little further from the buildings. Getting into the foliage, the moon light filtering through became dimmer. It wasn’t a problem for her, nor for her sister, and she was at least thankful for that.

“I want you to shift,” Chaeyeon said after they had stopped walking. Chaeryeong, obeying, concentrated on shifting, and, after a few minutes, she changed into a wolf.

“Woah, okay. You’re gigantic!” Chaeyeon exclaimed in disbelief.

“Aren’t werewolves big?” Chaeryeong asked, turning her head down to look at her paws.

“Usually not this big.” Chaeyeon sighed in relief. “Well, at least you have that advantage over Seokmin.” She cleared her throat. “Now, can you feel it? That internal voice in your head?”

“I… I do,” Chaeryeong said in wonder. There was an inner voice, which was, at the moment, yipping in relief and joy at being free. The joy was contagious, as Chaeryeong felt more free than she had ever felt, like she had left a small, restrictive cage.

“Is the voice strong? Or is it kinda faint?”

“It’s faint.”

“That’s because you have never interacted with your wolf.”

“Do I talk to it?” Chaeryeong felt weird asking that question. Was she about to hold a conversation with herself?

“Not at first,” Chaeyeon directed, then shifted. “You need to let it get used to the outside world, enjoy it. She’ll talk to you when she is ready.”

Chaeryeong nodded. “Wow, you shifted so fast.”

“That’s because I shift often,” Chaeyeon huffed. “My synergy with my wolf is good, so shifting is a no brainer.”

“Then? What do I do then?” Chaeryeong asked.

“Let’s run for a while.” Chaeyeon’s mouth resembled a smile, then took off running.

“W-wait!” Chaeryeong said as she tried to keep up with her sister, but her steps were uncertain and clumsy, so it was difficult to even try to catch up.

“Finally,” she wheezed triumphantly when she stopped in front of her older sister.

“You only reached me because I stopped.” Chaeyeon stuck her tongue out playfully, making Chaeryeong push her with her head.

“Sorry,” Chaeryeong apologized. “I didn’t mean to.”

“No, that’s great!” Chaeyeon exclaimed. “That means you’re getting comfortable with your wolf.”

“Can this be done in a single night?” Chaeryeong asked.

“Well, no, but it’s a start.” Chaeyeon shook her body playfully. “Let’s race?”

They played together for a while, not minding the moon that now hung up high in the sky. At first, Chaeryeong had felt ridiculous about playing like a dog, but after a while, she let herself go, remembering what Chaeyeon had told her.

You’re a werewolf, and that is not a shame.

Chaeyeon finally called for a tie, and Chaeryeong accepted, already tired from running too much. It wasn’t her fault. It was still difficult to move her body right, after all.

“Well, little sis, I think this is as much as I can teach you,” Chaeyeon concluded as she sat down. Chaeryeong felt her words like a bucket of freezing water was dumped on her head. She had completely forgotten the reason she was running around like a madwoman.

“I-Is there anything else I can do to defeat him?” Chaeryeong asked, swallowing the now recurrent feeling of anxiety.

“Tire him out, if you have good reflexes. Aim for the head, but not too hard. Your paw is pretty big.” Chaeyeon nudged Chaeryeong with her head. “And there’s one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to talk to you, without having to speak with each other.”

“Send me a letter?” Chaeryeong suggested uncertainly, making Chaeyeon huff in amusement.

“No, I mean, there is something we wolves can use to communicate without using words. It’s the mind link.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Just… think about it. Think about telling me something in your head as if you were to send me a message.”

‘Like that? Holy- It worked!’ Chaeyeon grinned.

‘Yup. Just like that. You can control your mind link, either to let people talk to you, or to block anyone from doing so.’

‘You can do this with everyone?’

‘Not everyone. Only with either family members, pack members, or a soulmate.’

‘Soulmates? Does that exist, too?’

‘Kind of.’ Chaeyeon shrugged, not wanting to burden Chaeryeong more than she already knows Chaeryeong is. ‘Aren’t you hungry? I’m starving!’

‘We just ate,’ Chaeryoung countered, but then grimaced. ‘But yeah, I’m hungry too.’

‘It’s normal. We have a faster metabolism, even more when we shift often.’

‘So can I eat a lot without gaining weight?’ If Chaeyeon was in her human form, she would’ve laughed at the bliss of Chaeryeong’s words.

‘Of course.’ Chaeyeon shifted back into a human. “Remember, shift back.” It took again a few minutes, but Chaeryeong was able to do it.

“Let’s go?”

“Let’s.”


	3. Chapter 3

How had she been trapped in this outlandish situation? Let’s rewind.

After entering the building, Chaeyeon had wanted to go to the toilet, so Chaeryeong, not thinking straight, obviously, thought it was a good idea to go to the kitchen and wait for her sister there. Having had to ask for directions to whomever was still around, Chaeryeong was able to get there, but, to her surprise, the kitchen wasn’t people-free.

There, smack dab in the middle of it, probably preparing something to eat, was that beautiful girl.

And what was Chaeryeong’s first instinct? To run away, of course.

So, completely ignoring the way her inner voice (she refused to call it wolf) howled in joy at the sight of her, chanting incessantly ‘mate, mate, mate’, she tried stealthily walking out of there, hoping she wasn’t detected.

Except…

“What are you doing here?” the voice said, stopping her in her tracks. She turned around, but, again, to her surprise, the girl was still facing the table where she was preparing something.

“Ah, I, uh, I-I just wanted to eat,” Chaeryeong said timidly. The other girl snorted.

“Do you think you already own the place?”

“No, no, no,” Chaeryeong denied in a panic, waving her hands. “I just...”

“Do you think you can defeat Seokmin?” the girl bit out.

‘Why is she so hostile?’ she could hear the inner voice say glumly, and she asked herself the same question.

“Uh, no- I mean, I don’t know.”

“It’s good that you’re not arrogant, though it’s a shame. It’s always more fun when you kill their ego.” Her voice sounded haughty, bordering on malice.

“Ah, uh, I-I’ll go now,” Chaeryeong said, not knowing what to say.

“Did I tell you to leave?”

“No, I, just-”

“I hate wolves like you. Hopefully Seokmin wins so that I won’t have to see you again.” These words always hurt Chaeryeong, but, somehow, coming from her, they stung even more, making her eyes water. She didn’t say anything. Instead, she just started walking out of the kitchen, wanting to get away from that girl as soon as possible, disregarding her inner voice’s cries.

“Yeji!” she heard someone yell, and, in the distance, she could see someone coming. Not wanting to get into more trouble with other people, she turned to look at the kitchen, where the girl stood, now facing her, her eyes bugged out in panic. With long steps, the girl grabbed her hand and dragged her to a pantry. Opening the doors, she shoved both of them into it and closed the doors.

“Shut up and lower your scent,” the girl demanded, putting a hand over her mouth. The touch made tingles travel through her whole body, to the point that Chaeryeong could only nod stupidly and try to do what she asked.

Now, here she was, inside a pantry with a girl that she found beautiful, but very mean, hiding from a nameless person.

Usually she wouldn’t make that big of a fuss, but this girl’s scent was making her feel dizzy, though not in a bad way. Her inner voice… purred? And she couldn’t help but feel this kind of weird connection to the girl. It reached the point where she had the urge to hug her and bury herself in her scent. The thought made her blush.

What was wrong with her? This girl had literally wished for her death, and here she was, acting like a lovesick puppy.

The girl, Yeji, on the other hand, didn’t seem so cool herself. Her expression was in between bliss and conflict, her head turned to face the door, but her hand still on Chaeryeong’s mouth.

They stood there for what seemed hours, until Yeji took her hand back, opening the doors of the pantry. Chaeryeong followed behind her, her legs almost jelly.

“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this,” the girl, Yeji said, baring her fangs menacingly. Chaeryeong, still out of herself, nodded slowly.

It was then that Chaeyeon finally appeared. Too little, too late.

“Chaeryeong-ie! Let’s-” Chaeyeon’s voice trailed off as she found her sister and Yeji frozen, the latter looking at her as if she had been caught. She turned to look at Chaeryeong, who was still looking out of herself. Having a pretty unfriendly relationship with Yeji, she glared at her, taking Chaeryeong’s arm.

“Please excuse us, Yeji. We were just hungry.” Chaeyeon’s words were cordial, but her eyes contained a silent warning, which was returned by Yeji.

“It’s alright.” Yeji gave a tight-lipped smile. “It’s your house, anyways.” Turning around and getting to the table, Yeji continued preparing her meal.

“Oh, oh! I’m sure you have never tasted this!” Chaeyeon exclaimed excitedly, all traces of wariness gone. Opening the fridge, she took out some cooked pasta.

“I’ve had pasta before,” Chaeryeong commented in a quiet voice, her body still buzzing at Yeji’s touch.

“But not like this.” Chaeyeon took out from the pantry a container filled with nacho cheese.

“Please tell me you’re not going to do what I think you are going to do.” With a grin, Chaeyeon dumped the contents of the container into the pasta.

“Oh no,” she exclaimed in a little voice, unable to stomach it.

“Wait. It gets better,” Chaeyeon said, going back to the fridge and getting a can of meat and a bottle of sriracha. After that, Chaeryeong could only watch in horror at how Chaeyeon prepared the stranger monster of a meal. Grabbing a big spoon, her older sister mixed the ingredients. “You’re gonna love it. I promise.”

Taking out two forks, Chaeyeon said, “Let’s eat.” Chaeryeong, not wanting to appear rude, nodded. “Let’s go eat at your room.”

Finally in her room for the night, Chaeryeong could breath freely at the place where she didn’t feel her lungs blooming with flowers, suffocating her every sense.

“Are you sure this is good?” she asked more skeptically.

“Not only is it great, but it will help you get stronger for your fight!” Chaeryeong was skeptical about the true nutritional value of this meal, but looking at how bright Chaeyeon’s expression looked, she just prayed at whoever was listening that this meal would truly give her strength for tomorrow.

“Wow, it’s...” Not bad? “Pretty delicious.” Chaeryeong hummed in delight, taking another bite of the weird spaghetti (can it even be called spaghetti?).

“Told ya,” Chaeyeon said proudly, taking another bite too.

“So,” the older sister said after chewing. “What did Yeji tell you?”

“Not much,” Chaeryeong answered. She didn’t want any more problems, and she didn’t want people to fight just for her. It made no sense.

“Really?” Chaeyeon looked skeptical at her answer, but at Chaeryeong’s reaffirmation of her previous words, she let the matter drop. Instead, she started asking Chaeryeong about her life, things that may not have been talked about in letters. On the other hand, Chaeryeong would ask Chaeyeon about experiences related to werewolves that she couldn’t tell Chaeryeong before.

They talked like that until there was just a bit of spaghetti left in the bowl.

“You want the last bite?”

“Nah, I’m full,” Chaeryeong said, far more comfortable with her sister than hours before. Patting her belly, she laid down on her bed.

“Your loss,” Chaeyeon said, to then eat the last bite in an obnoxiously loud way.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, making both sisters alert. It was already kind of late, so it seemed suspicious.

“I’ll open,” Chaeyeon said, and walked towards the door. Opening it, she found Hoseok.

“Your father requires little Lee at the woods,” he said kindly, disregarding Chaeyeon’s presence in her sister’s room.

“I’ll tell her,” Chaeyeon said with a nod, then closed the door. “Hey, Chaer, I know this might not be the best thing ever, but… dad wants you to go to the woods.”

“W-what? What for?” Chaeryeong looked lost again, making Chaeyeon grimace.

“Maybe to train you a bit.”

“And you can’t come?” Chaeyeon smiled sadly. It was a little endearing(ly sad) how Chaeryeong was completely unaware of the social rules.

“I’d love to, but I can’t.” Chaeyeon patted her younger sister’s shoulder. “You’ll be okay. I promise.”

You say that because you didn’t see father the way I saw him, Chaeryeong thought anxiously. “Okay.”

When she was already in front of the door, she turned to look at her older sister, who smiled soothingly at her. “I’ll be here when you come back.”

“Promise?” she said, feeling more at ease with someone she trusted close.

“Promise.” Chaeyeon smiled, throwing herself on the bed as if to show Chaeryeong she wasn’t lying.

“Thanks,” Chaeryeong said, and left.

–

Her father was already waiting for her at the woods, making her anxiety skyrocket. Unfortunately for her, Hoseok left as soon as her father gestured at him to do so, leaving her alone. With him. Her father.

“Have you ever practiced any martial art?” her father asked, straight to the point.

“N-no, never… father,” she added, afraid of being seen as disrespectful. Although her father’s scent and aura had diminished, he still felt like an imposing giant to her.

“Have you ever fought?”

“No, father.” Her father nodded, not betraying any emotion on his face.

“Very well, then. Shift.” Chaeryeong nodded, then concentrated on shifting. “Why is it taking so long?” The question, although worded as a demanding query, was told with a calmness that actually made Chaeryeong panic even more.

“I-I… I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what to do other than apologize. Finally she shifted.

If her father was surprised by her size, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he jumped at her, shifting mid-air. Chaeryeong couldn’t even see it coming, much less defend herself, so she ended up sprawled on her back.

Whining at the sudden pain, she tried blocking any on-coming attacks with her paws, which was actually of little to no help.

“Fight back,” her father growled as he stroke her. The problem was, Chaeryeong didn’t want to. Still, she tried giving an uncertain strike, which was easily slapped away by her father. “Is that all you can do?”

She tried striking him with more strength, and she felt her stomach drop when she actually did hit him. Now, there was a claw mark on her father’s neck, and she wanted to apologize more than ever. She didn’t know if her father wanted the apology, however.

“Push me with your lower legs. You’re strong enough to get me off you,” he ordered, his voice less demanding. Chaeryeong did as instructed, and her father was now on his back. He got up pretty quickly and walked towards her.

“Try avoiding getting too close unless you’re sure you’re hitting him.” Chaeryeong tried putting up a distance, but she was never quite sure of when to strike, so she just ended up getting backed into a corner.

“If you’re always defensive, he’s going to take advantage of that.”

“Then what do I do?” Chaeryeong blurted out, frustration seeping in her tone. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t want to potentially kill someone. She didn’t want to die, either.

“Fight. Stop being afraid of yourself.”

“I-I...”

“If you can’t even think of defending yourself, you won’t even make it in the real world, let alone here.” Striking her again, her father looked at her coldly. “Fight.”

Chaeryeong, despite the pain in her face, didn’t want to hurt her father.

“Are you going to fail your family?” But he was asking to, so she had to try. If she was to help Chaeyeon and her mother, she needed to try.

She stroke her father fearfully, but strongly. Her father seemed truly shaken by the strike, as he had been thrown a few inches backwards. He nodded slightly, but tried attacking her again. This time around, Chaeryeong was able to avoid his attack, though barely, as she felt one of his claws scratch her rear. She hissed, but turned around to face her father, nonetheless.

Trying to hit him, he also avoided her and retaliated, landing a hit on her.

They were like that for a while, with each trying to land a hit. Although Chaeryeong was still fearful and guilt-ridden at the thought of hurting someone, she managed to protect herself from the attacks, albeit clumsily and not unscathed.

“We’re done for tonight,” her father commanded, after he easily avoided a hit from Chaeryeong. “Do well.” She nodded at him, knowing that his words truly meant, “Don’t disappoint me,” and shifted back into a human. He didn’t shift, however. Instead, he ran deeper into the forest, not minding Chaeryeong’s presence.

With a sigh, Chaeryeong walked back to her room, hoping her older sister kept her promise. Thankfully, no one was out there, so she didn’t have to confront anyone.

–

Chaeryeong was barely controlling herself from outwardly expressing her fear now that she was out in the woods, in front of all these people from other packs that had come to see the fight. Sadly, she had to be alone at this moment, so there was no one close to her to talk to. Although she could see Chaeyeon’s friends giving a thumbs up and some other encouragement, which made her smile, if a little.

She could hear the gossip from the people surrounding, which varied at surprise at the scars her father had caused the previous night, or pity at the thought of someone so timid being brought to their death. Chaeryeong could only alternate between looking at her own fiddling hands or looking out for her mother, who just smiled at her as encouragingly as she could.

Finally, she felt another scent reach her nostrils, which meant that SHE was here, and it made her feel even more nervous. She shook her head, trying to get rid of her self-consciousness. She didn’t need this right now!

The crowd parting to let him pass, Seokmin appeared, his family and Yeji at his side. Somehow, the sight of Yeji next to him made her inner voice growl (in what? She didn’t understand). His lips pulled up in a smirk, he just looked at her with contempt before walking towards her.

The elder that had made Seokmin’s dad acquiesce to fighting the next day stepped in front of them.

“Is there anything left to say? For any of you?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t maul you so that your family can recognize you,” he sneered, his face still communicating that conceitedness. Chaeryeong said nothing. What could she say, anyway? His words truly scared her, but she knew it wouldn’t help to say it out loud.

“Right, the fight starts now.” As soon as the elder got out of Seokmin’s, he jumped at Chaeryeong, who had to duck to stop him from hurting her. When he had landed, he was already a wolf, making Chaeryeong panic.

Shoot! How can I shift quickly?!

In no time, the fight felt more like a cat and mouse game, where Seokmin tried reaching her, but Chaeryeong tried, as fast as she could, to avoid him and shift. It was no use; she needed the extra minutes and concentration to shift.

“Stay put,” he said, already exasperated with her fleeing. He could hear people exclaim under their breath that Chaeryeong was able to fend him off without even having to shift, which was a jab to his ego. “What? Are you going to be a coward?”

Chaeryeong didn’t answer, busy trying to not get stroke by the wolf.

“Better for me,” he said, trying to get to her with another strategy. “I’ll still be here when you tire out, and when you do, you’ll be sorry you didn’t fight like an alpha.”

But no matter, what he said, Chaeryeong didn’t even have the time to shift, so she could only jump and run to avoid him as much as she could.

Until he actually got to her.

It was a scratch on her leg, but it was deep enough to make her cry out in pain. She still managed to avoid the worst, but now it was difficult to stand on her injured leg.

Seokmin hummed in pleasure. “And you know what else? When you die, your family will disappear, your parents will die for letting an abomination live, and your whore of a sister will serve my family.”

The words aroused an irrational anger that Chaeryeong had very few times felt, but had always controlled as much as she could. She wanted to be logical, not listen to his words, so she just tried concentrating enough. However, she did say, “Don’t say that!”

Now that she was injured, she couldn’t duck fast enough to avoid his attack, making stumble onto the ground. “And you have no idea how much I’ve waited for the moment to have her.”

And no matter how much she tried to not react, she could feel the adrenaline of being struck and the anger of hearing him say so many horrible things get to her. Her hearing was fuzzy, so she couldn’t understand what he was saying anymore.

“Shut up.” But he continued talking, on and on, while Chaeryeong was still fending off his attacks (and failing).

She didn’t know what exactly made her snap. Maybe it was a combination of the stress she had endured since yesterday, maybe the uncertainty she had been through all her life in relation to who she was, maybe it was the frustration of being put in the middle of business that she had absolutely no knowledge about, maybe it was the anger of hearing Seokmin say such things, but her body suddenly shifted into a wolf.

“Shut up,” her voice suddenly sounded so foreign that Seokmin stopped attacking for a moment. This gave her the time to do what her father had told her.

Push me with your lower legs.

Seokmin was a wolf a little smaller than the size of her father, so he easily fell backwards. And just like that, her consciousness vanished.

It wasn’t until she felt someone hug her body that she became aware of her surroundings.

“Chaeryeong, it’s me. It’s Chaeyeon. And mom is here, too. Remember.” Still, her body was moving on her own, to the point that she just suddenly felt the weight of more people trying to stop her. It took a moment of those people grabbing onto her and Chaeyeon trying to soothe her that she finally shifted back into a human.

“W-What…?” her mouth was agape at what she saw. Seokmin was on the floor, unmoving, surrounded by a pool of blood. The people that had been grabbing at her were now watching attentively, warily, and Chaeyeon looked at her in worry.

“What have you done with my son, you beast?!” Seokmin’s dad snarled getting close to Chaeryeong.

“I-I… I don’t...” she was still looked at her sister, still disoriented.

Her father stepped in. “It was a fight, and my daughter won, fair and square.”

“I… I did this...?” Chaeryeong whispered, now overwhelmed with the small pieces of memory she was recovering.

“It’s okay, Chaer,” Chaeyeon soothed, hugging her sister. "You didn't kill him. He's alive."

“No! How… how could I…?” Chaeryeong’s words choked in her throat. “How could I do this?” Her voice was now broken, and her eyes filled with tears.

“It’s okay, Chaer. It’s okay,” Chaeyeon continued whispering soothing words.

“If this hasn’t left the goddess’s will for my pack and my daughter clear, then I don’t know what else could my daughter do for you,” Chaeryeong could hear her father say, and she was filled with so much hatred she wasn’t even aware she could feel.

“C’mon, let’s get you somewhere else,” Chaeyeon said, helping her get up.

“I almost killed him.” Everything felt so foreign, like it was a dream. Even then, she couldn’t turn to look at Seokmin’s body anymore.

“He would’ve done the same.”

“I’m a murderer.”

“No, Chaer. No.”

“I am,” she sobbed. “I almost killed him. I did this to him. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to.” Chaeyeon was barely able to get them to a more secluded spot in the woods before Chaeryeong collapsed.

“Of course you didn’t mean to, Chaer. You’re too kind,” Chaeyeon said, hugging Chaeryeong.

“I didn’t mean to,” she repeated. “I… Just… I don’t know what happened… He was saying... horrible things… And I… I was angry… But...” she said between sobs.

“It wasn’t you,” Chaeyeon said comprehensively. “It was your wolf.”

“My… my wolf…?”

“Your wolf, your inner voice. It takes control when you are in a crisis. Whatever happened, Chaeryeong, your wolf did it out of instinct, out of protection.”

“But how can that be okay?” Chaeryeong said, forcing herself out of the embrace, frustration and anger mixing with the grief. “How is this okay? How can you be okay with this?”

“Because that is how things are here,” Chaeyeon answered, and although her tone was soft, and meant to comfort and explain, Chaeryeong only felt more frustration and anger.

“How can things be like this? How could I accept this?!” Chaeryeong wanted to lash out, but she knew her sister had no fault of what she had done, nor of the broken system this place represented. “This is so messed up.”

“I know,” Chaeyeon said sympathetically. “I know. But you can’t blame yourself for this. Please, Chaeryeong.”

Chaeryeong deflated, being hit again with the fact of what she had done. “I can’t believe I did this.” She looked at her hands with hatred. She suddenly started punching the ground, making Chaeyeon jump.

“I’m a monster! I’m a monster!” Chaeyeon hugged her again, restricting her for hurting herself further.

“No, Chaeryeong. You’re not a monster. You’re not.” Chaeyeon patted Chaeryeong’s back in a bid to calm her younger sister down. “You are an awesome dancer; you are a scaredy cat that hates horror movies; you are a kind girl that once helped a girl recover her balloon from a tree; you are a great sister, my favorite sister.” Chaeryeong started sobbing again.

“I can’t believe I did this.”

“You are okay, Chaeryeong.”

She wasn’t sure if she could believe her older sister’s words.


End file.
